jopara:

*googles number i dont recognize calling me instead of answering*

(via may)

thatenglishchap:

dankmemeuniversity:

(via daddyswallet)

oppa-homeless-style:

bender-rodrigas:

(via daddyswallet)

earendil-elenion:

writing-prompt-s:

The person who grew up expecting to be the “chosen one” learns that they are meant to destroy the world, not save it.

Originally posted by anakinskywalkerpls

(via daddyswallet)

poppetawoppet:

apathetic-revenant:

dankmemeuniversity:

demon: YOU HAVE SUMMONED ME, MORTAL. WHAT DEAL DO YOU WISH TO STRIKE WITH THE POWERS OF HELL?

roomba: [is a roomba]

demon:

roomba:

demon:

roomba:

demon: man c’mon you gotta work with me here a little bit

roomba: *slowly spells on floor* K N I F E

demon: ahhhhh I see. You have heard the legend of Stabby.

roomba: *vibrates excitedly*

(via one-doesnt-simply-walk-in-bagend)